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We Judge Others by Actions, Ourselves by Intentions

Everyone is the protagonist in their own story

One thing I have realized over time is this:

Every person is the protagonist in his or her own life.

No matter who they are.

  1. The partner who controls every decision and calls it care.
  2. The friend who disappears when needed most, yet believes they are loyal.
  3. The boss who constantly demoralizes employees.
  4. The parent who is so strict that fear replaces comfort.
  5. The teacher who pressures students into taking private tuition.
  6. The colleague who takes credit for teamwork and calls it visibility.
  7. The influencer who spreads misinformation and calls it freedom of expression.

Whether knowingly or unknowingly, ethically or unethically, most people believe they are justified in what they do.



Most people don’t see themselves as villains in their own story.

Instead, almost everyone sees themselves as:

  • disciplined, not harsh
  • practical, not insensitive
  • ambitious, not unfair
  • right, not wrong

And perhaps that is what makes human behavior so complex.

It is shocking how easily people can point out certain actions as wrong when done by others, yet fail to recognize the same within themselves. Human beings are remarkably skilled at justifying their own behavior while judging the same behavior harshly in others.

Maybe because intention and perception are not the same things.

Or maybe because we are all narrating our own stories from a lens where our actions somehow make sense to us.

The more I observe people, the more I realize:

Self-awareness is perhaps one of the rarest qualities. And often, growth begins the moment we stop seeing ourselves only as the hero or protagonist of the story, but start questioning the impact we may have on others.

  • Is our impact positive or negative?
  • Are our actions helping people grow, or hurting them quietly?
  • Is our way of working, leading, parenting, or behaving still worth continuing?
  • Or is it time to consciously bring about a change within ourselves?

Because self-awareness doesn’t begin when we question others.

It begins when we start questioning ourselves.


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